Listapalooza Part 3

Bringing back an old feature ...

Top 5 songs I hear all the time on satellite radio

5. Welcome to Paradise - Green Day

4. Aeroplane - Red Hot Chili Peppers

3. Thirty-three - Smashing Pumpkins

2. The Cave - Mumford & Sons

1. Howlin' for You - The Black Keys

Top 5 songs satellite radio has introduced to me

5. Sweet Disposition - Temper Trap

4. Down by the Water - The Decembrists

3. The Ghost Inside - Broken Bells

2. Helicopters - Deerhunter

1. Young Blood - Naked and Famous

Top 5 bands that sound very similar to another band

5. Naked and Famous - Passion Pit/MGMT

4. JJ72 (them again) - Smashing Pumpkins

3. Silverchair/Seether - Nirvana

2. Muse - Radiohead

1. Silversun Pickups - Smashing Pumpkins

Top 5 "That Guy!" character actors

5. J.T. Walsh (A Few Good Men, The Negotiator)

4. Dylan Baker (Disclosure, Law & Order)

3. Kurt Fuller (Ghostbusters II, Wayne's World)

2. Glenn Morshower (24, Friday Night Lights)

1. James Rehborn (Independence Day, Scent of a Woman)

Top 5 most hated words

5. SpyGate - For obvious reasons

4. Cheese - Jut don't like it.

3. Testicle - Anytime the word comes up, something like "cancer" or "ruptured" is close by.

2. Mani-pedi - Do I even need to explain?

1. Tweet - I hate when important news is grouped with this word.

Top 5 favorite words

5. Sundry

4. Rapscallion

3. Pariah

2. Schaible

1. Skulduggery

Top 5 whitest bands

5. Weezer

4. Death Cab For Cutie

3. Wilco

2. Arcade Fire

1. Vampire Weekend (I looked this up after the fact and there are articles online about this topic. So no points for originality on my part.)

Top 5 funniest shows on TV right now

5. Conan - Love Ted Turner

4. Parks & Recreation - Love Andy Dwyer and Ron Swanson

3. The Ricky Gervais Show - Must use the term "knockin' about" in my life

2. The Colbert Report - It's been better than the Daily Show lately.

1. 30 Rock - The defending champion

Top 5 favorite TV bosses

5. George Steinbrenner (Seinfeld)

4. Michael Scott (The Office)

3. Ron Swanson (Parks & Recreation)

2. David Brent (The Office)

1. Jack Donaghy (30 Rock)

Top 5 random Conan characters (excluding Triumph the Insult Comic Dog)

5. Coked-up Werewolf

4. NASCAR-driving, gun-toting Jesus

3. Vomiting Kermit

2. Jewish Turtle Riding a Mechanical Bull

1. Masturbating Bear

Top 5 favorite Rhode Island people

5. Bill Reynolds

4. James Woods

3. Buddy Cianci

2. Art Lake (R.I.P)

1. Doug White (R.I.P.) - He used to come to Phred's all the time when I worked there. Nice guy. Great hair.

Top 5 favorite New York Yankees

5. A.J. Burnett

4. Ruben Sierra

3. Kei Igawa - Are the Yankees still playing him?

2. Jose Contreras

1. Kevin Brown - A travesty he's not in the Hall of Fame

Top 5 sporting events that have been ruined by my career in journalism

5. Super Bowl

4. Postseason hockey (for games that go into four overtimes)

3. Any trade deadline

2. NFL Draft

1. NCAA tournament - Utter insanity and almost impossible to enjoy now

Top 5 athletic moments

5. Cabin X football extravaganza - Where I intercepted a pass for a touchdown, caught a touchdown and ran for a touchdown to lead my team to victory

4. Dunk you very much - We were playing on an eight-foot rim once in Cranston - I don't know why - and I was facing some kid who had his girlfriend loudly and obnoxiously rooting for him to beat me. So I took it to the rim and dunked in his face. True story. Also true ... the girl stopped talking after that.

3. Leveling R.T. - In college, the three amigos plus our roommate from Seattle were playing two-on-two touch football. As the QB, the fourth roommate with the initials R.T. kept running for big plays. This is very lame in two-on-two. So in a bit of frustration, I attacked him at a perfect angle during one of his runs along the sideline and pushed him with such force to send him flying to the ground. Message delivered

2. Deion Sanders Sears - In one flag football game for CBS, I made two interceptions on consecutive possessions and caught a touchdown. I played such shutdown defense that the guys were calling me Deion. Or anti-Asante Samuel.

1. Three-on-three touch football champions - Zach, Jeff and I played a makeshift tournament in touch football for hours. We beat all challengers and advanced to the final against some athletic European types. It was a war. I caught the game-winning touchdown on fourth down. Afterward, I've never been so exhausted in my entire life.

Top 5 least favorite athletic moments

5. Dodge ball to face - In gym class, I was hit in the nose in dodgeball and bled profusely. Thing is, no one noticed. But that sucked.

4. The ski disaster - Already covered this

3. Fracture clavicle - We snuck into Cranston Stadium to play tackle football. I picked up a fumble and rumbled almost thirty yards down the sideline, but in a reverse of my R.T. leveling, I was speared badly. The tackler's heat met my clavicle. Fracture. I had to climb the fence with one arm to get out and I had to wear a sling for a few weeks. Intense pain.

2. One-on-one touch football standoff - I was the QB as Jeff and Zach battled in football. It was getting dark and for whatever reason, I decided I was done playing. With a dead arm, I threw terrible pass after terrible pass. I was Todd Collins. Just awful. We just had to call the game due to my suckiness.

1. Softball ejection - I will probably do a SteveCentury on this soon, even though Zach has told every living and non-living being on this planet and others this tragic story. I might as well get it down for the record.

And finally ...

To 5 names for Baby Schaible (which I am predicting to have a penis)

5. Vin Books Schaible

4. Tres Duces Schaible

3. Onion Dip Schaible

2. Tanyon Sturtze Schaible

1. Chinua Achebe Schaible - Duh.

Listapalooza Part 2

You can never have enough lists ...


Top Movies I Have to Keep Watching if I See Them on TV
5. Airplane!
4. A Time to Kill
3. My Cousin Vinny
2. The Rock
1. A Few Good Men


Top 5 non-sports video games
5. Duck Hunt
4. Sonic the Hedgehog
3. Contra -- An insane game with the most famous cheat code in history.
2. Super Mario Brothers -- All the games have merged into one in my memory. I still love Yoshi and the timeless music.
1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II -- This was the arcade version, a much-improved sequel to the impossible-to-beat first TMNT game. I celebrated in the street with my friend when I beat this game -- and I'm not kidding.


Top 3 cartoons that scared me a young'n
3. He-Man
2. Sleeping Beauty -- For whatever reason, the ending really freaked me out, especially when the evil lady at the end formed into a dragon.
1. Popeye -- Just look at him!


Top celebrity crushes (formative years)
5. Mariah Carey
4. Lisa Turtle (Lark Voorhies)
3. Summer Sanders
2. Jennifer Love Hewitt
1. Sarah Michelle Gellar


Most embarrassing songs on my iPod

5. Nobody's Home -- Avril Lavigne
4. Building a Mystery -- Sarah McLachan
3. Love Will Lead You Back -- Taylor Dane
2. Time of My Life -- Dirty Dancing (Not my fault. This song was drilled into my head since my sisters watched this movie about 4 billion times.)
1. Hit Me Baby (One More Time) -- Britney Spears



Top songs that are among my favorites you may not know
5. Dreaming of You -- The Coral
4. Mr. Writer -- Stereophonics
3. Munich -- The Editors
2. I'm Stupid -- Prime STH
1. Morning Afterglow -- Electracy: If you listened to WBRU in the late 1990's, you knew this song. How was it not a huge hit???


Top TV shows that left us too soon
5. Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -- A recent casualty
4. Undeclared -- A show about kids moving to college just when I was moving to college
3. 3 South -- It was funny and worthwhile, so obviously MTV canceled it.
2. Arrested Development -- I can't criticize since I didn't watch it while it was on TV either.
1. Andy Richter Controls the Universe -- A kookier, crazier, earlier version of The Office, right down to the "guy has crush on cute receptionist" theme.


Top RI foods I miss the most
5. Clam Cakes
4. Awful Awfuls
3. Doughboys -- Loved Iggy's and McCoy Stadium's doughboys. They call it fried dough down here ... morons.
2. Coffee milk -- I still get my share, but it's hard work
1. More clam cakes


Top bands/performers rock radio stations should play if they want me to change the channel

5. Ozzy Osbourne
4. Beastie Boys
3. KISS
2. Kid Rock
1. Nickleback



Top people with whom I'd love to have lunch

5. Bill Belichick
4. Natalie Portman
3. Kiefer Sutherland
2. Barack Hussein Obama
1. Eddie Vedder



Top personal travel destinations

5. Hawaii
4. Canada
3. England
2. Germany
1. Seattle

Top "Why haven't I been there yet?" places

5. Philadelphia

4. Bunker Hill

3. Basketball Hall of Fame

2. Block Island

1. Baseball Hall of Fame

List-apalooza

I am going to borrow from esteemed blogger Chad Finn and compile a list of Top 5s for your enjoyment.

TV shows from June 2008-May 2009
5. 24
4. True Blood
3. Lost
2. The Shield
1. Friday Night Lights

Favorite classic Classic Rock songs
5. The Ocean - Led Zeppelin
4. All Along The Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix
3. London Calling - The Clash
2. Baba O'Riley - The Who
1. Dream On - Aerosmith

Pet Peeves
5. People who start talking to me but stop and say "Nevermind."
4. When people who think they're better than everyone because they only shop at Whole Foods and eat vegetables and tofu and then snark at me for having a cookie.
3. Drivers who, instead of waiting one second for me to pass, merge onto a street in front of me, forcing me to slow down considerably or use my brakes. This always happens when there's not a single car in sight behind me for hundreds of yards.
2. Drivers who think the entire neighborhood needs to hear their crappy music/people who have bass so loud it shakes MY car
1. How every damn bill is due within a week of each other.

Most traumatic events of my childhood
5. First near car accident when I was very, very young. My maternal grandmother was in the car as well and it's basically my only memory of her
4. My first "Lost in the supermarket" nightmare
3. The first time I got on a plane and discovered the intense pain it causes in my jaw and ears. This was in the fourth grade and I was on my first trip to Disney World in Orlando.
2. Getting a cute gray kitten only to have it die a week later
1. Getting bike-jacked about two minutes from my house. Cranston is tough town.

Favorite Beatles songs
5. Norwegian Wood (This Bird has Flown)
4. The Long and Winding Road
3. Penny Lane
2. She Said, She Said
1. Something - I can never get enough of the bridge. "You're asking me will my love grow / I don't know I don't know."

Saddest songs
5. Hurt (cover) - Johnny Cash: He pretty much sang this song on his deathbed. Really powerful
4. Brick - Ben Folds Five
3. Imagine - John Lennon: For me, it's sad because all of the dreams he sings about will never happen.
3. Black - Pearl Jam
1. Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton: Goes without saying

Most important moments that shaped my political views
5. Myrth York's losses to Lincoln Almond in the Rhode Island governor's races. Not sure why I was rooting for her, but I was.
4. 1984
3. My dad telling me once, "I've been around 70 years and the Republicans have been wrong on almost every single issue."
2. 9/11. Dirty little secret coming up: I went through a little conservative phase after that event. I wanted blood. When I saw the Palestinians celebrating on TV (turned out to be BS) I wanted to bomb the shit out of them. I was cutting out conservative columns from the papers early my freshman year at college. But then they started to use 9/11 for crass political points and that was it for me. I regained my senses.
1. 2000 Presidential Election. The first time I voted. The way that whole thing went down set in motion my extreme dislike of the conservative movement.

Favorite athletes of my tween/teen years
5. Marcus Camby
4. Cuttino Mobley
3. Roger Clemens
2. Drew Bledsoe
1. Mo Vaughn

Top Hawk moments
5. Getting a call asking which Red Sox players were circumcised
4. My first time seeing that Dave Santino treason poster. Hilarious.
3.My "good guy" campaign against Grimey. We took it a bit too far, but it was fun at the beginning.
2. When Champ called Emily - while she was sick - pretending to be "Dr. Jones." I don't know if I've ever laughed that hard before.
1. Watching the Red Sox win the World Series in 2004 with fellow Hawks Grimey and Katie. There should be a plaque somewhere.

Top things/people I have introduced to Jeff Schaible
5. The New England Patriots
4. Z.C. Hossem
3. That journalism would be a much easier major than international affairs
2. His fiancee
1. The Killers

Top things/people I have introduced to Zach Hosseini
5. Lost
4. J.R. Schaible
3. Alcohol
2. "Not like this!"
1. The Ch-ch-ch-changeup followed by the 95 mph knuckleball

Top 5 things Jeff Schaible has introduced to me
5. Tickets to my first Yankees-Red Sox game
4. Bowls of crusty, pungent onion dip
3. The shortest video game sports seasons known to man
2.Tom Brady as the "future of the team" minutes after Drew Bledsoe went down
1. The Schaible Face

Top 5 things Zach Hosseini has introduced to me
5. 30 Rock
4. Conservative radio talk show host Chipford Tuckerton Battlecreek X: "Liberals!"
3. The Starbucks frappuchino
2. Speckled Hen
1. The outside world (it's still scary)