We at the Eye are moving from Fort Lauderdale, Florida to .... Fort Lauderdale, Florida!
Yes, all the rumors you have heard are true. The big boss announced on Monday that our operation is moving a half-mile down the street on Cypress Creek Road. It's about time.
Our current office appears nice on the outside, but the inside is the epitome of drab -- gray, muted colors, television sets from the Eisenhower Administration, torn up carpet, malfunctioning lights and an uncomfortable proximity to an executive airport.
Our bosses have assured us the new building will be more fitting to a 21st century media company. This current one certainly isn't. Our new home will have flat screen TVs, several bathrooms, sleek glass offices for the higher-ups and a more open, newsroom environment for the plebeians. We will have the second floor of the two-floor building, above the office of a progressive water treatment company. Another perk: We might even get our own sign. Right now, the words "Pizza Fusion" are emblazoned above our entrance. The big boss assured us the sign would not be accompanying us.
This exciting endeavor is set to take place in January, which leaves us plenty of time to speculate and kvetch about our soon-to-be surroundings. Will we have to watch our language now? Will we get enough TVs? Will we have a game room? Other departments, used to their own personal TVs, are worried they might lose them. Tough luck, pansies. Others are worried about seating arrangements. Will they have to sit next to us cro-magnum copy editors, with our foul stench and fouler language?
These questions will be answered in due time, but count me as pumped about the news. A modern office is long overdue. Though I am very pissed about the addition to my commute. I will go from a five-minute drive to work all the way up to a six-minute drive to work. There goes my gas savings.