Don't Even Think About It

So maybe I'm a bit paranoid. But this worries me.

We've seen this story before, us Red Sox fans. Wade Boggs riding the horse. Roger Clemens winning a World Series. Johnny Damon going corporate. And the most painful one ... Mike Stanley.

So when I read that the Yankees were watching Pedro Martinez pitch, a small ulcer formed in my stomach.

Pedro is demanding $3 million and teams aren't exactly tripping over each other for his services at that price.

But still ... just the mere possibility of him in pinstripes makes me want to puke. Pedro Martinez might be my favorite athlete ever. (It's close with Tom Brady.) Any Red Sox fan who watched this guy paint masterpiece after masterpiece will tell you it was an out-of-body to watch him. He's the best pitcher I have watched. Others, like Randy Johnson, are more accomplished, but Pedro put up Bob Gibson numbers in the middle of the steroid era and he did it with a theatrical flair. He helped turn the Red Sox into the phenomenon they are today.

So obviously he can't be allowed to don the pinstripes. Some things just can't happen.

It's also sad to see where he is today, jobless, unwanted, and far past his prime. A future Hall of Famer trying out for teams. It's like Jack Nicholson auditioning for a movie role. And, as stubborn as always, he does not seem close on accepting a bargain-basement deal that teams only seem willing to offer.

It's not impossible to envision the Yankees just throwing some money at him and plucking him into their rotation, putting Joba Chamberlain back in the bullpen. Likely? Perhaps not. But certainly possible.

So here's hoping some team - preferably in the NL - gives him a shot for one last go-around. That way, he can go out the way he wants. Just don't do it in the Bronx, for all that is good and holy in this world.