I don't look like McLovin.
Not that it is good or bad. I just don't resemble him. So you can imagine my surprise when an opponent on the basketball court called me by that name as he prepared to guard me.
It was a 3-on-3 contest. There was a group of five friends and I was the loner. So as each player decided which person to defend, one chubby African-American fellow said this:
"I've got McLovin."
Then he D-ed me up -- for about two seconds before I burned him to the hole for a layup. For good measure he slapped me straight across the arm, but that didn't stop me. You see, it's not wise to get me angry on the court. Not wise at all.
Maybe this guy called me McLovin' because I'm white and I look like a guy who got beat up in high school. Who knows? Either way, I took offense. It was not used as a nice joke, but more in a "look at this dweeb trying to play me" manner. Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with McLovin. The actor actually seems like a cool dude. He likes Boston teams and I bet he has little problem with the females. But still, I didn't like it.
So after burning him that first time, I outrebounded the shit out of him the next few plays and blazed past him to the hoop once again. I also ended up scoring the winning basket because he got lazy on defense and I cut to the basket for an easy point.
Score one for Steve, indeed.
I've been known to have a temper when playing sports. During college, I played one-on-one touch football and lost my cool several times. I tangled with a seven-foot Chinese guy at the Marino Center once because he kept elbowing me in the face. We had to be separated.
Last year on the same court this guy hit me in the head more than once, so when I had the chance, I buried my shoulder into him like a safety does to a wide receiver. He didn't like that too much, but too f'in bad.
Don't get me upset.
And never call me McLovin.