Big whoop. Wanna fight about it?

Introducing a new feature here at Famous Last Words. These will be random confession-type columns. After each bullet point, read to yourself the title of this blog entry. And if you happen to scoff at what I have to say, well, you can answer to this fellow...

• My 401(k) statement came in the mail last week and I have yet to open it. I'm too scared.


• Those cute kids in the Microsoft commercials are starting to annoy me. Yeah, you're an adorable child who knows more about technology than me. What of it?


• I would welcome Stephon Marbury to the Celtics. Corey Dillon, Randy Moss and Manny Ramirez were all supposed to destroy their teams. Two of them lead their clubs to championships and the third would have if it weren't for a fluke play.


• I have a Paula Abdul song on my iPod.


• I just don't get the furor over Angelina Jolie. And I don't think I ever will.


• I'm not all that pumped about baseball starting. I blame my job. Once it becomes your work, it sucks some of the fun away. All I do is make stories about steroids, pretrial hearings, arbitration, contracts, stupid injuries and so on. AP sent us a story about a bullpen catcher's opinion on the A-Rod controversy. We're supposed to care? So as baseball starts, the workload multiplies by 10. I'm saddened I'm already on the track to Miserable Copy Editor status. I just need to gain a few pounds and I'll be right outside the door.


• I haven't done anything special for my birthday in a long time.


• I think Coldplay may be the best band of this decade.


• But The Killers are better. (Take that, Scoop Jackson)


• I've lived in Florida for more than two years and I've been to the beach about three or four times.


• I've lived in Florida for more than two years and have yet to attend a spring training game. (That will change today.)


• I feel superior to almost everyone I know since I jumped on the Barack Obama train back in 2004.


• I thought Vin Baker was going to have a good career with the Celtics.


• I've given up on reading extra stuff about Lost. Either the show covers the subject itself or I don't care anymore.


• I still bite my nails, eight years removed from high school. It has to stop sometime.


• I still wear many shirts I've had since high school, as well.


• I still eat Fruit by the Foot.


• I've never read anything by Mark Twain.


• Anytime I have dreams I remember, random people from my dark Rhode Island past are in them.